It's been 2 months already that I get back to the gym again as I abandoned working out and cursed all the muscle boys in the world for having better bodies than mine. Finally the whole 1 and a half hour routine proves really working!!! The first fitness test which took place a week after join the olympic club, I only weight 54.9 Kg which is way too thin and I knew that and look at me today 59.7 Kg, almost 5 kg in 8 weeks time ( actually it's up for 4 kg in the first 6 week and almost one last kilo has been added up 2 weeks later )

Not only the joy I have to myself but as last night after pushng my lazy ass to go torturing myself there. Wearing white sort of tight tank top, one of the good instructor as he always gives me work out tips just happened to notice my chest and said that I have reassy pec! Oh really...Thank you darling, my ego is about to explode, moreover he just walked closer and literally grab my chest...Oops now that is weird but nevermind he really admires me ( or my pec at least ). I think I could gain more energy to do additional 1-2 sets. I was really exhausted, good exhausted though. Ugh damn you!!!

Anyway, I went on to do another exercise that's when another instructor praised me like: "You get pretty much bigger now." oh really I thought to myself. "You've got good board shoulders and arms obviously." Oh now I don't believe you. "I think my shoulders are not board at all because all the time people think of me as a quite small person. "Just look at yourself in the mirror. See, you have shoulders and biceps also triceps as well. You'll have to compare that to yourself not to compare with someone else." Ehh...maybe the reason why I think that I never have board shoulders is that my head is too big, I think. That gave me more energy to do additional 2-3 sets. Oh boy I was really exhausted now, good exhausted though. Ugh damn you!!!

For some reason now I think I am attracted to men with good bodies and I think it becomes more and more obvious to me. Who wouldn't feel attractive to men with nice 6 packs ab right? There are 2 things that I'm sort of worry about which is that I'll become one of those muscle mary who whose life will be full of sex, work out and protein shake and the most important of all I'm afraid of meaningless life which lead to nowhere and when I realize that I'd wake up one day with wrinkle all over my face and life of nothing productive or useful. Oh boy, give me good body and conciousness well, if that's not too much yet I also want good sex also. Bitchslap.