As a series of unfortunate events in my life has unfolded and folded itself back again. Now I found myself stuck in the position where I can't say whether I'm happy or not.

Just like what I wanted, Last Saturday went quite plesantly as he and I spent time together happily for the first time. It was so much happy that finally hard work that I've done to get him back is really working. Things really picked up after we came back from shopping at the weekend market. We came back to his place filling his balcony with the newly bought plants. He's really happy with his garden. I was happy to see that he's happy. He's admiring the freshness of the bright red and orange Hibicus, white and tiny fragrant jasmin, shiny Moon Lit Sky and two other water feature plants. I was admiring of him.

The moment was filled with joy and laughter. My hand's in his. I was really happy for the first time after the whole break up thing or what I'd rather call "Trial Seperation". It was one of those moment wheer you wouldn't want it to end. As his friend went for a swim later in late afternoon. He found us in a very good mood as if we were back together. He did even ask that and the answer he got back from him was just a smile and and one simple NO.

We went out that night with a big group of friends to Sirocco where we ended our first romance the first time exactly on my birthday last year. We came back home later. Such a good way towards the end of the weekend, it was the first time again that we cuddled sleeping.

As the mourning came with the thought of that we are going at a slow and steady speed. It's so obvious that my friend even asked if I was back with him. I just didn't say anything but a big smile.

Later in the evening as I came to pick him up at work in Silom. He looked tired by the time when he finished work at 9 PM. I asked if he wanted to dined out just like we used to, he decided to go along. I chose to eat at one of those street food vendors in Silom with same old menu we usaully order and we  ran into another of his friend, accidently, just like when I ran into him THAT Saturday night in DJ's.

When the crack of the dawn came knocking on our tiny window, it meaned that it's time to get up for me but I decided to have the faux-sick call just wanting to spend the morning and early afternoon with him. Guess he didn't get it.

After he left to work at 12, I found myself at (his) home, I turned on his notebook just to watch DVD for killing time. As to wait everything to download properly the I was thinking about the pictures he took on the night out at the Sirocco. To a spur of my surprise, I just found a new picture holder in the My Pictures folder, 2005-07-11 with 3 pictures of a guy in white underwear. I only to find out that those pictures were taked sometimes around 4.30 PM on the past Monday, only few hours before I met him at work. Is it just an admiring gig? A quick fuck? Or just a bad luck on my part where I chose to play in this lose and lose situation. I have to answer this question myself.