benontheblock

Confusion De La Situation

As Saturday and Sunday passed by already but they didn't bring any confusion occred during the last few day with them at all. With unidentified bad temper cooking insides of me since Friday, things didn't seem to pick up a bit. It seemed even worse with me.

Almost a while now that "he" didn't go out dancing, which he thought that I might not ebjoy it. I enjoy it sometimes. I do. But for some reasons, when I called "him" on Friday after work, "he" mentioned that "he" wanted to go with his best friend alone, since "he" didn't have any chance to spend time with his best  friend at all since he came back a while ago. I'm cool with that and no hurt feeling at all. If I am in the position like him I would expect him to act the same way too. Anyway, we ended up going out together with his best friend and then another friend came and then another friend with his friend whom "he" thinks that I flirted with him a week ago but I didn't have any intention to do that at all. I only enjoyed his conversation and think that he can be a very good friend that's all, but I don't want to hurt "his" feeling, too.

I choose to avoid every bad thing that might happen later on the weekend by projecting the idea of doing nothing at all for the whole Saturday. Honestly I had no idea that "he" would like it or not but at least it's what I wanted to do and "he" chose to do what I suggested. I knew that he was bored. I'm grateful for that.

Then came Sunday, nothing much different from Saturday much but I think it came to the point where "he" couldn't stand doing nothing at all for a day already, so we headed to a movie. Until this point he still let me be the one to decide things for example where we should go for dinner since he's got two invitations. So I chose to go to the dinner party where I'd be more participating in.

I think I'm confused with what I have right now and where I stand. I think I know that "he" does feel something for me but I just don't know what to do and how to cope with the situation here at all.

Temperamentality goes on.

Rainny Day, Tuesday and Christmas Day

When you are in a certain good mood, sometimes you could hear the nice music ringing in your head and if it's that you are very happy you might just hum it out loud.

Last tuesday, after a very hot and quick "hotel survey" trip to the Amari Airport hotel, which costed me back and forth about THB 400, I made my way back through the rain to town once again with the thought of relaxing from the 5 days-water splashing-songkran-holida ys. I found myself laying on the sunbed by the pool of my gym. Another powerful afternoon. I love this job I have really.

After an 1-hour grill in bangkok hot summer sun, it's about time that I should get back in the gym and work out a bit. Insides, it's not as busy as it is on the weekday's evening. No rush, no hurry. Basically no one in the gym. Hehehe..there were few people actually, and none of them paid attention to what other people were doing.

The majority of muscle maries...oops I mean health and fitness concern crowd that day were foreingers-white guys, for instance, including my "Thin Crust Pizza Guy" or what Mark referred to him as "Bird Dog", a good looking lean muscle guy who keeps his very romantic looking pair of eyes on every white skin male being around the gym, pretending that he's careless about them in his small little earphone. Well, nothing is wrong about that though..because we all do that all the time but it's quite funny when you see a farang do that and it's just happened to be SO obvious.

Anyway, after 40 minutes of horrible tunes jamming into everybody's ears then came...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Is you...

Honestly, Christmas is one of my favourite time of the year but "All I Want From Christmas Is You" in April? Wrong!!! So wrong but if that's not enough. Here is the next song they played...

Last christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Well until this point, I couldn't stop smiling anymore. It's like an unspeakable joy which I shouldn't hold back the good mood lying inside of me that tries to scream out with joy. No matter it is hot summer day, rainny day and monday or everyday can be christmas day also.

The Experience

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.
Auguste Rodin

Life had been up and down for me for the last 2 years until Febuary, which is the last month working for a film distributor company, the fun time had ended and everything is in full speed now. After 1 day leaving the company my new adventure is ahead of me. The door that I always wanted to open and insert myself into has been opened, waiting for me.

15 months straight at last job without any annual leave had given the opportunity to grow. Today, I'm working for one of the leading public relation agencies in Thailand. Something that is more serious. I thought that the fun time wiould be over since I left the door of my old office but I was wrong. The atmosphere at the agency is pretty much alive and fun, even more fun here. I enjoy the job very much. I got paid reasonably, very reasonably. I work up without feeling tired thinking about work that is await of me for the day. Everybody loves me here.

After many and many months of struggling in the realm of love, finally something's happened. Once the heart that's close just turned the door open, welcome me to run in the secret garden hidden inside where it's closed since the last winter in his heart. We spent time together more and more until it developed itself into another phrase of relationship. It's still a long way to go but at least we prepare for it whether it's coming or not.

My life has finally come my way. The ups and downs finally pay off. The experience from good and bad old days has taught me to look forward to the next best day to come.

Everyone, I'm back.